Part of tag cluster Conceit and guilt in key topic Unskillful Qualities
Glosses: Shame, Inadequacy
24 excerpts, 2:11:37 total duration
“It seems that suffering in the lives of many people, my own included, comes from feeling unworthy or unlovable. Would you have any thoughts on why so many people feel that way and what will help to let go of this feeling? Thank you!” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Christianity] [Goodwill] [Competitiveness]
2014 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 5, Excerpt 6
“Would you have some suggestions on working with shame? As an emotion, it feels very “sticky” and probably the hardest one for me to work with. It seems like it is deeply rooted in my mind (probably thanks to Christianity). Is it true that Thai people have an easier time with it than westerners? Is an antidote to shame self-compassion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] [Culture/Thailand] [Culture/West] [Compassion] // [Goodwill] [Self-identity view] [Relinquishment]
Thanksgiving Retreat 2016, Session 3, Excerpt 8
“What is the best approach to deal with guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Conscience and prudence] [Learning] [Faith] [Discernment] [Self-identity view] [Not-self] [Aggregates]
Sutta: MN 22.58: “Whatever is not yours, abandon it.”
2. “Did Ajahn Chah pass his teaching style to you or do you use your own separate style?” Answered by Ajahn Sumedho and Paul Breiter. [Personality] [Ajahn Chah] [Teaching Dhamma]
Story: Ajahn Sumedho, first abbot of Wat Pah Nanachat. Told by Ajahn Sumedho. [Ajahn Sumedho] [Abbot] [Wat Pah Nanachat ] [Sequence of training] [Culture/West] [Joseph Kappel] [Aversion] [Suffering] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Humor]
Quote: “The special thing about Luang Por Chah was that he was at ease and completely himself.” — Ajahn Sumedho [Contentment]
Response by Paul Breiter: “The elements are there, but different teachers are expressing them in a living way.”
4. “As a guilt-ridden American, how do you respond to personal mistakes without guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Culture/West] [Great disciples] // [Saṅgha] [Conscience and prudence] [Pāli] [Skillful qualities] [Self-identity view] [Respect] [Perception] [Virtue] [Buddha]
Story: A monk falsely accuses Sāriputta (AN 9.11). [Forgiveness]
4. “Can the practice be used in a punitative or punishing way?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Culture/West] [Habits] [Clear comprehension] [Craving not to become]
Quote: “Having a human mind...it’s amazing how perverse it can be sometimes.” [Human] [Unwholesome Roots]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Translation] [Culture/Thailand] [Suffering]
Quote: “All you need to do is create a cage of mindfulness around [unskillful habits].” — Ajahn Chah [Ajahn Chah] [Sense restraint] [Mindfulness] [Unskillful qualities] [Similes]
Follow-up: “What about letting the tiger go instead of keeping it in a cage?”
Follow-up: “What about the case when one feels one is the tiger trapped in a metaphorical cage. How to escape?” [Liberation] [Perception] [Self-identity view] [Spiritual friendship]
9. “In letting go of thoughts that habitually arise from negative self-criticism or from past trauma defenses, how do we ask these powerful mental states to not overwhelm our mindfulness?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Mindfulness]
6. “Can you please give perspective on thoughts/feelings of inadequacy and comparison to others?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
8. Comment by Ajahn Ñāṇiko: Ajahn Chah’s brother didn’t have an inferiority complex. [Ajahn Chah] [Family] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
17. “How does one work with ones own judgments that come up so often during the meditation practice? (They are mostly judgments of myself, for not getting there…)” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Judgementalism] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
6. “It seems that suffering in the lives of many people, my own included, comes from feeling unworthy or unlovable. Would you have any thoughts on why so many people feel that way and what will help to let go of this feeling? Thank you!” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Christianity] [Goodwill] [Competitiveness]
3. “A lot of my life has been based on guilt, punishment, achievement, feeling driven, and perfectionism. Recently I experienced the reverse of this. Perfectionism is mixed up with wholesome desire. Could you respond?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Judgementalism] [Idealism] [Desire] [Contentment] // [Discernment] [Self-identity view] [Human]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate the question ‘How do I work with guilt?’ into Thai. [Ajahn Paññānanda] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Language] [Culture/West] [Culture/Thailand] [Suffering]
9. “What is the best approach to deal with guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Conscience and prudence] [Learning] [Faith] [Discernment] [Self-identity view] [Not-self] [Aggregates]
Sutta: MN 22.58: “Whatever is not yours, abandon it.”
3. “Could you talk a bit about the kilesas? How to see them clearly and work with them skillfully without falling into discouragement and self-judgment?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Unwholesome Roots ] [Right Effort] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Mindfulness] [Discernment] [Recollection/Virtue] [Perception]
4. “In the West, we personalize every bit of suffering. Is it different in Thailand?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Culture/West ] [Suffering] [Self-identity view] [Culture/Thailand] // [Language] [Liberation]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. Told by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Thai] [Translation]
Quote: “That’s really suffering. Tell them not to do that.” — Ajahn Paññānanda [Ajahn Paññānanda] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
Reference: Can’t We Talk about Something More Pleasant? by Roz Chast (commercial). [Ageing] [Sickness] [Parents] [Health care]
4. Comment: When I hear the word “shame,” it’s.a cousin of guilt. But in this context (AN 7.6), it seems more acceptable. [Treasures] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Conscience and prudence]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Language] [Christianity]
8. “Would you have some suggestions on working with shame? As an emotion, it feels very “sticky” and probably the hardest one for me to work with. It seems like it is deeply rooted in my mind (probably thanks to Christianity). Is it true that Thai people have an easier time with it than westerners? Is an antidote to shame self-compassion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] [Culture/Thailand] [Culture/West] [Compassion] // [Goodwill] [Self-identity view] [Relinquishment]
9. Comment: It’s so hard not to identify with the contents of the mind, to not make it me and mine. Realizing how useless so many of my thoughts are helps. [Self-identity view] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Suffering] [Disenchantment] [Directed thought and evaluation]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Mindfulness] [Pāli]
Response by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Not-self] [Humility]
16. “Can you speak about regret?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Conscience and prudence] [Restlessness and worry] // [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Determination] [Skillful qualities] [Culture/West] [Kamma] [Goodwill]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Thai] [Suffering]