Monks, these two people are hard to find in the world. Which two? The one who is first to do a kindness, and the one who is grateful for a kindness done and feels obligated to repay it. These two people are hard to find in the world. This reflection in the Pāli Canon is from “Hard to Find,” Dullabha Sutta AN 2:118, translated into English by Ṭhānissaro Bhikkhu.

Another aspect that is really important is how we are a good friend to ourselves. Sometimes we are able to be good friends with others, but sometimes we may not be a good friend to ourselves. It may be that a friend makes a mistake or may have done something a bit foolish. We might say something, but it would rarely be harsh or overly critical. One would say something, but it would be out of care…

It is not easy to break through the illusion of being a separate self. We spend a lot of energy trying to fill the gap of loneliness with distractions and passions. We want to be fulfilled, to find meaning so as to lose that sense of loneliness because experiencing oneself as a separate entity in this vast universe is quite frightening. When I was very young, every time I looked at the stars at ni…

Rãgataçhã the defilement of sexual craving is comparable to a kitchen fire – both are necessary to establishing and maintaining a successful family. Marriage is necessarily a sexual partnership, while a kitchen fire is indispensable for preparing the family’s food. Just as heat and electricity are common requisites of human life, so too is rãgataçhã a fundamental aspect of human relations and the…

The Buddha’s teachings point out two significant drawbacks of mundane love: (1) The lover, the beloved, and the love itself are all impermanent by nature. Fluctuations and changes in accordance with causes and conditions mean that nothing in the world, including personal love, is permanent or capable of being a real refuge. (2) The lover, as an unenlightened human being, will always bear in his or…

The nature of true moral virtue is subtle and complex — so complex that it cannot be attained merely by reference to precepts and rules of conduct. Ultimately, moral virtue is not measured in terms of adherence to external rules, but as an expression of the mind’s pure intentions. The basic goal of the Buddhist path is to eliminate from the mind all impure intentions. Thus, true virtue can only be…

Tudong is an ancient monastic practice of journeying on foot through the countryside, often for weeks or months at a time, living simply and close to the elements and often relying on the kindness of strangers to provide sustenance along the way. The Thai word tudong comes from the Pali dhutaṅga. The term refers to a set of practices such as living on one meal a day, not sleeping in a building or…

Recently I have had a number of conversations with people who have described how their practice has turned a corner and how they’ve discovered a new approach to meditation. Almost certainly all of these individuals had already heard teachings on how trying too hard to overcome obstructions didn’t help; how what was needed was a willingness to receive all they encountered along the way and to under…

The Buddha shows us the path to the Deathless. But how does that relate to my daily life in the kitchen with my kids and my dog? Well, check out the mind when it’s not clinging: when you are relaxed, not wanting anything, not going anywhere, not wanting to become something, in a moment of profound relaxation, in the now. How does it feel to be in the moment? Check out the peace that is there when…

To reach a deeper understanding of anatta we simplify our perspective on life’s events by observing our experiences as bodily sensations, feelings, perceptions, mental constructs, sensory phenomena. In other words we observe the changing nature of the khandhas. If this objective perspective is missing we easily get caught up with the narrative or story line that each life situation generates. For…