A Positive Ideal to Cultivate

In Dhamma practice, wisdom acts as the direct antidote to ignorance by examining the reality of life and the world with a stable, stilled and unbiased mind sustained in the present.

The direct antidote to craving is the systematic and integrated development of wholesome mental states. In the case of love, the most prominent of these virtues are lovingkindness and the effort to be a good friend. Training ourselves to practice restraint, to keep track of our emotions, to let go: these are at the heart of the negating side of the practice.

But at the same time we need a positive ideal to cultivate. That positive ideal is provided by the pure love called metta.

The distinguishing characteristics of a pure love are:

1. It is unconditional.
2. It is boundless, a wish for all living beings to be well.
3. It is not a cause of suffering.
4. It is governed by wisdom and 
equanimity (upekkha). 

   It is a miracle that such a love exists and that every single human being has the ability to develop it.

This reflection by Ajahn Jayasaro is from the book, On Love, (pdf) pp. 53-54.